I am not one of those people who lives life with no regrets. I am honest. I have regrets. There are things I wish I would have done or not done. It’s not something that controls me or gets me down, but they are there. There is one regret that I would like to share with you today. As some of you may or may not know, I am/have been an extremely picky eater. In the past years I have gotten better, especially since I married that wife of mine :laugh_tb:.

It must have been, oh I don’t know, 5 years ago. I was sitting in Laura Sauder’s dining room with our families. Or maybe it was just the kids. Maybe it was 3 years ago? I don’t know and it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I don’t like pineapple! Interestingly, I used to love Hawaiian pizza when I was a kid (ham & pineapple), but at some point, I turned my back on pineapple as if I were Brutus and the pineapple was Caesar (this analogy totally doesn’t work) AND I STABBED THE PINEAPPLE IN THE BACK… except since it’s cylindrical I don’t think it has a back. Et tu Brute/rockstarpoet? Yes, Pineapple, it was me!

Well, anyways 3-5 years ago I was sitting in the Sauders house, at the dining room table and it came to a point when a tray of fruit was brought out and guess who was there? Pineapple. You bitch. (Gratitious language is probably not necessary, sorry audience—I’m drunk on pineapple!) But this wasn’t pineapple from a can, like on pizza. This was pineapple freshly picked off a tree and basically eaten right there (except for the thousands of kilometres it probably traveled to get to Regina). I don’t like pineapple, I said, harumph! Everyone around me was smacking their lips and licking their fingers for the sweet juices that floweth and I was tempted.

I tried a small piece. And oh the tastes! It was orgasmic. The mix of tart and sweet, mixing and rolling in my mouth. Little pockets of tastes as the strings moved through my mouth. If there is one thing I regret about my life, it’s not eating more pineapple.

I just had a couple pieces and they were delicious. Have a good weekend. I love you, Pineapple.