Last week, when I had had enough of the heat I said When winter comes I am going to buy a portable A/C unit for cheap. Because they would be cheaper when it’s not hot, therefore cold, aka winter. Someone in my office said Wouldn’t you feel guilty? (Because of the power wasted. But then I wondered how much power I waste with the 43 fans we have running in our apartment. Basically created my own wind tunnel.) At that point, I didn’t care. But, I wondered why we invented air conditioning?
Today, I figured it out. We didn’t invent A/C for wussies like me that can’t take the heat. A/C was invented by coffee addicts. It was invented so that you weak, poor-spirited and more-wussy-than-me people could comfortably drink hot coffee in the middle of summer. That’s my theory.
You addicts. You are weak. You make me sick. I realize that I need to tread lightly because Leah is a self-confessed coffee addict. But, I am going to throw caution to the wind and say Hey, it’s time to take a look at your life and wonder if you are master or caffeine is?
Reasons I hate coffee:
- I am not a weakling.
- It’s gross.
- It’s ignorant.
- Weak I am not.
- I was built to be a superior being without artificial sweetener or energy boosting chemicals.
- If I need a hot drink I will drink tea.
- If I needed something to get me through the day I would drink whisky and smoke.
- Makes you dependent. I am independent.
Look. Let’s talk heart-to-heart. I care about you. I know I was a bit abusive earlier. But, let’s get to the heart of the matter. You have a problem. I don’t like it. You are so much better than those devil-beans. It’s time to let go of coffee and embrace me. Follow me. I know the way.
Oh shut up. Good coffee is a wonderful part of life to be enjoyed. You are just not enlightened.
Rhett you have not been married long enough to know this obviously so let me tell you what you need to know if you are going to have a long and happy marriage. You need to listen to your wife! She knows what she is talking about.
Besides coffee addicts did not invent A/C. Coffee addicts just adapted and invented ice coffee (mmm iced coffee).
Rhett,
I do believe you just picked a fight directly with my wife. Be warned, she is a mean lady when she hasn’t had coffee.
She drinks it strong and black and she is coming for you!
I, on the other hand, am only half-addicted. That said, Laura’s coffee is so friggin strong that you nearly become immediately dependent on the caffeine rush.
You should come over one morning!
L
If i follow you, is there a starbucks on the way?
O Rhett . . . yous in trouble.
How can I take any of you weaklings seriously? You are all high. :bye_tb:
Ouch. I love coffee and tea. Tea wins out in the end. I guess I swing both ways.
Welcome to the new millennium of openmindedness!
I just had coffee! :jittery_tb:
Coffee weaklings!! Right on Rhett!! I hope everyone at least brings their own cup to TH for refill… at the very least.
I knew Curtis would back me up. I also knew that Leif would resemble Switzerland. Basically, the only thing cool about coffee is the scene from Airplane where the boy asks the little girl if she wants cream or sugar in her coffee and she says I take coffee black, like my men.
Enlighten us on coffee; social, environmental and health wise… anyone??
That’s your department Curt.
You need to read CBC.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/interactives/who-coffee/
They can’t be wrong.
Hahaha, devil beans…I like it.
One thing’s for sure, Rhett hasn’t had this many comments…well, ever? :tongue1_tb: Probably a good indicator of coffee’s dangerously addictive power! That being said, I enjoyed 3 cups this morning and couldn’t be happier. I could quit any time I wanted to….really…
Coffee is delicious. Rhett is ridiculous.
Two things. (1) In all fairness, I am currently drinking an ice cappuccino from Tim Hortons. (2) Leah has stopped drinking coffee for ten days. She mentioned feeling a little woozy because of it yesterday.
I thought you had said in your comment that you knew more about coffee than any of us?? Congrats Leah!! All things in moderation – except kiting of course!!