I have a lot of weird hang-ups about the grocery store. One of them is that I am sure the person working the register is judging all of my purchases. For that reason, I prefer making big trips because there’s too many items to make any focused judgement on my purchases. However, yesterday, I had to make a small trip: cottage cheese, eggs and ice cream cones.
The first two, you’d think, aren’t that big of a deal—you could be making anything with those two—but what the hell are the ice cream cones for? This is obviously what the clerk is thinking. Does this sicko like cottage cheese with a hint of egg cones? No! No, I don’t. I don’t even like cottage cheese and I rarely eat egg unless mixed with a side of bacon and toast.
But then I realized, the grocery store clerk probably isn’t judging me and this paranoia isn’t healthy or even reasonable. And I was able to dissuade my panic, albeit shortly. Because now I realize that if I think those things—AND I TOTALLY JUDGE YOUR PURCHASES—than everyone is judging mine.
I see what you bought. Cocoa Puffs and nachos? Really?
I once bought balsamic vinegar and a bag of jalapeno potato chips (and nothing else), and the cashier actually said to me, “Jalapeno chips and balsamic vinegar…not at the same time, I hope.”
So, yeah, apparently people do judge your purchases.
Also, whenever I buy condoms from a cashier who is wearing a hijab (and therefore, I assume, a devout Muslim) I wonder if she thinks I’m a terrible heathen who is going to hell. Because buying condoms isn’t awkward enough as it is…
That was probably a bit of TMI, but I thought it was funny, so I figured I’d share it.
I am not sure that affirming my would-be paranoia (though I seem to be onto something) is such a good idea. But I appreciate the TMI. I don’t feel so alone now.
The way I see it, playing into your paranoia doesn’t affect me in any direct way, but it may lead to you writing some entertainment blog posts in the future. Really, this is all about serving my entertainment needs.
Well played. Cuz you know the next time I am at the grocery store I am going to ask.
Rhett…I used to work as a cashier….and I judged all the time. Just wanted to let you know. I’d totally judge your ice cream cones with cottage cheese.
How rude!
I always judge what people buy. And I’m always either extremely proud or extremely ashamed of my purchases. Most of the time if I buy something I’m not proud of, I stash it at the bottom of my cart and move to the self-checkout. I can always tell it’s the end of the semester by how many times I visit the self-checkout. I have no will-power.
Hahaha. Jana sometimes you and Leah are basically the exact same person. I heard her tell me the same story (almost verbatim) two nights ago (about switching to self-checkout).
LOL. It’s true. I went on a grocery run that consisted pretty much of all bad food. There was a few token ‘normal’, healthy items, and the rest junk.
I used self-checkout. And yes, I am aware that I am self-soothing through junk food.