LOOK! I made another pretty collage.

Well, I buzzed my head again. But I found a surprise. I FRACKING BALDSPOT! (The brilliant people who watch BSG (and no, I won’t be explaining what that stands for) know where fracking comes from.) There’s no way I am going bald. If anything, I have too much hair. Tracy can attest to this because she was my haircuttress for several years. Though I suppose Leah can also confirm this as she is my current buzzcuttress. It might be going grey, but it’s not going bald. Or even showing signs of thinning. Except for this baldspot.

So where did this baldspot come from?

I believe it’s from this economic downturn, or so it’s called. Frankly, this is just a bad story. When they start talking on the news about positive things—markets go up. When they start talking about bad things—markets go down. All just talk. But the funny thing about stories is that even if you know they are just stories and you’d be silly to believe them, your heart—being your heart—does whatever the hell it wants. Or at least my heart does. Frack.

And this economic collapse is doing bad things to me. It might just be the chinooks, but I am stressed out. I have a mortgage. I have payments. And I have the knowledge and fear of what it’s like to lose a job. All this combined equals a small, ridiculous baldspot. That’s my theory.

What am I going to do about it? Maybe slab some peanut butter on it. If not, just remind myself that people survive through much, much worse and I am a bit pathetic for getting myself all worked up about it.