Sorry that I haven’t posted in so long. I had this great plan to post regularly and then we got Duke. I was thinking I shouldn’t post about Duke too much because you’ll get sick of him. I’m sick of him (not really)—just his poop.

That dog can crap. I mean, really crap. And then he got sick on Thursday. I would have posted more on the weekend, but he got sick (and I got sick—more about me later). He had diarrhea on Thursday morning. Gross. I stupidly fed him. I came home at lunch to walk him and he had diarrhea again. Leah got home by 4:30, but it was too long. The smell is what hits you first. The closer you get, the further away you want to be. Duke sprayed the inside of his kennel. So, so gross. So we clean that up. By we, I mean we except that I did all the dirty stuff. It wasn’t befitting a lady I guess or maybe it was something about how HE IS YOUR DOG! We let him out regularly on Thursday night, but that wasn’t enough.

Duke had another round in him. I heard Leah yelling from the basement, HE POOPED ON MY RUG! I went down and saw a few little drops on the hallway rug. That’s not so bad, I thought. Leah went huffing upstairs. I went to the basement bathroom to get the gloves and rags to clean the rug off a bit before I threw it in the wash and the smell hit me. Leah only saw the hallway rug. Not the bathroom. A small, stinky explosion had gone off. And not only did a poop bomb blow up, but it went off on the drier—which was running. I don’t know if you are catching what was happening here. There was a bun in the oven, but bread wasn’t on the menu. The diarrhea was baking on the side of the drier. And I started laughing because, well, it was better than crying.

That was Thursday. Friday was a rough day, but there were no more indoor accidents. By the end of Friday things were looking better. I took him on a walk Saturday morning and everything seemed fine. I fed him a little. All day, fine. Walked again at supper, fine. Fed a little more. Then, the last walk of the night, Duke poops. The first one was starting to look solid. A great sign. But then the second, third and fourth were liquid. Sunday, not much was coming but it was liquid and now with blood.

Needless to say, Duke is going to the vet today. So send Duke your good vibes, prayers or whatever magical healing powers you have. He’s having a tough go.