I have a number of thoughts in my head right now and I am going to attempt the unthinkable and juggle them all into this post. Watch and learn.

Here is how I figure it. We, as a species, are born into an environment of chaos. A world in which we cannot control. So let’s go back to the beginning of humanity. A quick run-down of our development. First, small, animal-like packs >> we learn about fire and are able to work during he dark for the first time = first art and culture born >> hunter/gatherers = small/medium social groups/tribes >> domestication of grains and animals = first static villages >> and then we till the earth with our society. From the chaos, we assert our culture to enable control. I think this is the way most people understand it.

I wonder if chaos and control is a true dichotomy. I suppose it is. But this isn’t a chicken/egg thing. There is chaos, we assert control. Or we attempt to, anyways. No one likes chaos. I wonder if some people do or pretend to. Or maybe some people are better at dealing with chaos than others. For instance, let’s pick on Tracy, I think most people—who don’t know Tracy very well—think Tracy loves chaos. She’s got the big hair, bohemian lifestyle and—to make matters worse—she’s a poet. The truth is Tracy doesn’t love chaos. No one does. It’s a ridiculous idea. Just like any movie with some wild-child that everyone desires because they will unlock your rusted life. They won’t. Chaos, almost always, leads to death. However, I am making the assumption that death is bad, which may not always be true.

Leah and I shop at Superstore. I am not especially proud of this fact. I would rather support Safeway or Co-op. But, at this time in life, I cannot afford to spend a dollar more on almost every product in Calgary. It’s a sad fact. I would love to support someone who supports the community, but I will just have to support the community in other ways. We always go to the Superstore in the northeast of Calgary, which Leah told me (she heard) is the busiest Superstore in western Canada. This is the epitome of chaos. Small aisles. Big carts. Dingy floors and lights. Too many people. Everyone is rude. Everyone just wants to get the hell out. There is nothing relaxing about this. No matter what day, what time. Chaos. Yesterday, Leah and I went to the new Superstore in the southeast, beside the Ikea. Scandinavians, get lost eh. The new Superstore has big aisles, bright lights. Food beautifully arranged. Mopped floors and friendly people. I recall smiling at 3 or 4 people. I remember someone actually saying excuse me. Sweet, sweet control. It brings out the best in us. Can I go so far as to say, it brings out life.

This brings us to my last thought. Last night, Leah and I watched a truly beautiful documentary God Grew Tired of Us (IMDb). Apparently, when colonial Britain hastily left the Sudan in the 50s, instead making it two countries to separate the Muslim north and Christian south, they lopped them together. In the 80s with oil, minerals and lots of money up for grab a civil war broke out. Thus began the journey of thousands of refugees and the movie documents three Sudanese men, who are part of the Lost Boys of Sudan. Jokes aside, this is chaos. I don’t know this chaos. I will be happy if I never do. It shows the journey through Sudan to Kenya and ultimately to the States. It’s quite a brilliant film. A sweet film. And a sad film.

I think tomorrow I will write about my reactions to this film. But let me end, somewhat ambiguously, and ask how is it that we can add control to this world. What am I to do with chaos? Especially the chaos that kills. I know development and free-trade are not always the answer. Capitalism is not always the answer. But, to quote Churchill—Democracy is the worst form of government except for all those others that have been tried. How should we, knowing what we now know, react to chaos?