Did anyone ever watch My Pet Monster? Well, I don’t have a monster, but I do have a huge ass canker sore.
Last week was a close relative to death. It was a really terrible week. I have never felt more stress in my life. We had put in an offer on a place, but it didn’t go through. There was also some other housing drama and so by yesterday I was completely spent.
Well, before last week, I always believed that canker sores came from eating too much sugar. At least, that’s what my mom always told me. I think it has more to do with the fact it hurts to eat sugar when you have a canker sore. Studies have shown that 4/5 scientists believe canker sores are caused by stress. 5/5 scientists believe that I am beyond awesome on a scale of suck to awesome. In any case, it would seem that the size of the canker sore is directly related to the amount of stress… because I have the biggest canker sore ever. Check it out.
Ain’t it a beaut?
This place is like a YouTube factory. Well, I’ll try and get some real content down for you soon. In the mean time, check out this video. I just came across it and it’s hilarious. Or at least I think so.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xLRQohZtuo[/youtube]
I know I put this in my del.icio.us and Twitter feeds already. However, I must draw this to everyones attention. I guess Big Rock beer holds a competition for who can create the best commercial. A couple guys in my office took up the challenge. The “emotional” guy is my boss. Yup…
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SJLUkI57qk[/youtube]
It seems to me that 2008 is going to be a year of change. I believe that 2007 seems to be a year of foundation-making and developing patterns and leaving old ways behind. But 2008 is all about change so far. Change is scary.
So far this year I have, in four months, launched my own business (Epiblogger), started a new job, was pre-approved for a mortgage, and now I am a new uncle. That is a picture of me awkwardly holding my day old neice, Chloe Elizabeth Johnson. Look at all that hair. She’s basically a monster—a poop monster, but she does have all the baby cuteness. Emily, my sister, didn’t have more than 8 strands of hair on her head until she was five. She was a bald monster. Alright, enough about monsters.
I was doing pretty good with the first two changes. New job and new company were exciting. But my ability to cope ended when I was pre-approved. That was like winning at miniature golf and being slapped by a poop monster at the same time. I know, I know, enough with the monsters. It took me a week to get over the initial shock and now it’s just a stress rollercoaster. Can we/can’t we, should we/shouldn’t we, and holy crap what if the market goes to heck in a handbasket?
And then the pretty little Chloe got placed in my arms. You might say that babies are cute and they remind you of goodness and purity and stuff. But not me. I was basically just screaming in my head—AAAAAHHHHHH! There is a baby in my arms and it’s breathing! Again this is one of those moments where I know that babies generally breathe but holding a breathing baby is something completely different. I have only seen Chloe once, so the shock of being Uncle Rhett hasn’t even begun to hit. I imagine it will start to get really weird when she can speak. Although, I do think I will be a cool uncle. However, I still don’t think I am ready for all this change.
But I did find one thing to help me through the hard times… David Bowie.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
On sad days, sometimes, I like to think about Charlie. There’s just something about dogs that offer me a glimmer of hope. Cats are there to test me, which is good too (i.e. my patience). If I were a dog I think I would narrate my life just like this.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZR17rlXNWw[/youtube]
This morning, a co-worker and I were discussing the pros and cons of Dane Cook. He’s a comedian. There is a lot of talk about the talent of Mr. Cook. Some say he has stolen material. Most just love him. A select, elite few despise him. The stolen material is troublesome if it is true, but even if that is true I am pretty sure his true talent is delivery. In any case, we go onto the topic of favourite jokes and the nothing fight came up. It is pure comedy genius in my opinion. I love when comedians tell stories. So here it is for your laughing and listening pleasure.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Edit: This isn’t the whole thing. Dang. I thought it was. Plus, I should mention that it is a little offensive.
Edit #2: I found the rest of it on YouTube. It picks up roughly where the audio track leaves off.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFpXgee7oLU[/youtube]
