I have a number of thoughts in my head right now and I am going to attempt the unthinkable and juggle them all into this post. Watch and learn.

Here is how I figure it. We, as a species, are born into an environment of chaos. A world in which we cannot control. So let’s go back to the beginning of humanity. A quick run-down of our development. First, small, animal-like packs >> we learn about fire and are able to work during he dark for the first time = first art and culture born >> hunter/gatherers = small/medium social groups/tribes >> domestication of grains and animals = first static villages >> and then we till the earth with our society. From the chaos, we assert our culture to enable control. I think this is the way most people understand it.

I wonder if chaos and control is a true dichotomy. I suppose it is. But this isn’t a chicken/egg thing. There is chaos, we assert control. Or we attempt to, anyways. No one likes chaos. I wonder if some people do or pretend to. Or maybe some people are better at dealing with chaos than others. For instance, let’s pick on Tracy, I think most people—who don’t know Tracy very well—think Tracy loves chaos. She’s got the big hair, bohemian lifestyle and—to make matters worse—she’s a poet. The truth is Tracy doesn’t love chaos. No one does. It’s a ridiculous idea. Just like any movie with some wild-child that everyone desires because they will unlock your rusted life. They won’t. Chaos, almost always, leads to death. However, I am making the assumption that death is bad, which may not always be true.

Leah and I shop at Superstore. I am not especially proud of this fact. I would rather support Safeway or Co-op. But, at this time in life, I cannot afford to spend a dollar more on almost every product in Calgary. It’s a sad fact. I would love to support someone who supports the community, but I will just have to support the community in other ways. We always go to the Superstore in the northeast of Calgary, which Leah told me (she heard) is the busiest Superstore in western Canada. This is the epitome of chaos. Small aisles. Big carts. Dingy floors and lights. Too many people. Everyone is rude. Everyone just wants to get the hell out. There is nothing relaxing about this. No matter what day, what time. Chaos. Yesterday, Leah and I went to the new Superstore in the southeast, beside the Ikea. Scandinavians, get lost eh. The new Superstore has big aisles, bright lights. Food beautifully arranged. Mopped floors and friendly people. I recall smiling at 3 or 4 people. I remember someone actually saying excuse me. Sweet, sweet control. It brings out the best in us. Can I go so far as to say, it brings out life.

This brings us to my last thought. Last night, Leah and I watched a truly beautiful documentary God Grew Tired of Us (IMDb). Apparently, when colonial Britain hastily left the Sudan in the 50s, instead making it two countries to separate the Muslim north and Christian south, they lopped them together. In the 80s with oil, minerals and lots of money up for grab a civil war broke out. Thus began the journey of thousands of refugees and the movie documents three Sudanese men, who are part of the Lost Boys of Sudan. Jokes aside, this is chaos. I don’t know this chaos. I will be happy if I never do. It shows the journey through Sudan to Kenya and ultimately to the States. It’s quite a brilliant film. A sweet film. And a sad film.

I think tomorrow I will write about my reactions to this film. But let me end, somewhat ambiguously, and ask how is it that we can add control to this world. What am I to do with chaos? Especially the chaos that kills. I know development and free-trade are not always the answer. Capitalism is not always the answer. But, to quote Churchill—Democracy is the worst form of government except for all those others that have been tried. How should we, knowing what we now know, react to chaos?

I think I mentioned this before, but I’m too tired to search my archives to find it. I spend a lot of time stumbling the internet. One of the topics I stumble upon is atheism. Now, my title is a bit misleading. I understand atheists. I just don’t understand the atheists who spend all their time denouncing Christianity/any religion. The ones who are fundamentally opposed to religious fundamentalists. The ones who think they are so righteous for pointing out inaccuracies in the bible.

I love philosophy. I do. I like talking about it. However, I often have a fairly hard time with writing philosophically. Maybe I am too artistic. Maybe I am a delicate flower. Nevertheless, I have been trying to work it out. I am in the process of setting up another blog that will be dedicated to saving faith. Or something like that. A niche blog.

I am going to attempt logic. Let me tell you now, I will probably get this wrong. Perhaps I should just read the Dawkins book.

1. There is no way to prove the existence of God.
2. I must look at what I can prove.
3. Therefore… God doesn’t exist. :laugh_tb:

Worst logic ever. Logic is not universal truth, certainly that logic doesn’t resemble truth. I foresee myself going somewhere I won’t be able to get myself out of.

I am happy that there are ethical atheists out in the world. I support you. I may not agree with you, but that’s not so important. It’s the fundamental atheists that become my frustration. That I find sad. If the basis for atheism is because you can prove fallacies and errors and point and laugh at the silly fundamental Christians and because evolution makes way more sense than creation theory, I find that to be weak and sad argument.

It’s not because I can offer up such a beautiful apologetic for Christianity. It’s because there is this massive misunderstanding of what a story is. Or myth. Or legend. You name it. You can even call it a really good lie. It wouldn’t really matter. Let me slap this logic on you—If what Thomas King says is true (The truth about stories is that that’s all we are) then what is the difference between my story and yours? Again, logic and me—please don’t tell my Logic prof from University.

What I am attempting to say is that if I have a story, you have a story then there is nothing in between that is provable. Then what’s the big deal? How do you beat the story argument? Could anyone honestly say that we aren’t stories? And it might be said that math is not a story. Or science isn’t a story. But it is. And even if it were some great objective, abstract truth it lives beyond us, as God does/might and therefore we are just back at having one story over another.

I don’t want to sell myself down the river—I am not even sure that idiom makes any sense in this context—but I am pretty sure this post is one more sentence away from being nonsense. I better stop. If you understood my attempt, I am happy. If not, don’t worry, it’s not you.